Placing this in a post so I stop tweeting about the issue and
instead make my points in one place. Also, as with all things I think or feel,
I reserve the right to change my mind at any point in the future.
The issue at hand is about women being too demanding,
feeling entitled and not being “deserving” of things from men (monetary,
materialistic things). Are women who have “high” materialistic demands gold
diggers?
Let me start by saying that in every partnership, only the
parties involved/affected should be making the rules. Stop focusing so much on
what “looks right” or is acceptable to the outside world. They will not be
helping you dry your tears and they will likely tear you down and forget about
you as soon as what you do is not deemed as okay. I believe that in today’s
world it is more important than ever that women be able to provide for
themselves and their families. We have more opportunities to do so now and we
are more aware than ever before of history showing us that there are no
guarantees and that, more often than not, being able to do so will become
necessary.
I also feel that women have somehow let society force them
into inconvenient and uncomfortable positions all because they are afraid of
negative perceptions. This had only been to their detriment. If you are in a
partnership and you are giving and getting the same as if you were solo, what
then is the point of said partnership? Last I checked, you can’t buy groceries
just by telling the cashier “I’m a good woman to my man even when he doesn’t
deserve it”.
Be able to provide for yourself at least at the basic level,
yes. But don’t let society make you feel like there is something wrong with
wanting to be with someone who does the same for you or even more. Many men got
to where they are on the backs of women who did not ask for anything. And they
left those women in the dust after they made it. Do not feel that because you
cannot match his monetary contribution, you are unworthy of asking for it. So
long as you are doing your part and you are truly being the best mate you can
be, it should be okay to ask for what you feel you deserve. The worst that can
happen is that they do not feel you deserve that much and then you two will
simply figure it out from there. Compromise is not a bad thing and sometimes
breaking up is the best option for two people. At the same time, keep striving
to be better. Do not get so comfortable that you cannot bounce back if your
partner bounces.
There are men out there who do not want their women to spend
on them, to spend any money actually. There are women who are content with
this. This may not be ideal for you but it does not mean that it cannot and
will not be the ideal for others. It does not mean that they cannot be just as
happy as you in your relationship set on different priorities. Yes, there may
be other facets of the relationship that you may not be willing to put up with
but if both parties are ok with it, that is their business. Money symbolizes security
to a lot of people. In this capitalist world, we can see why. For many, the end
goal is to be rich. This may be because they are used to this or because they
have never experienced this financial status and they dream of it. Let’s not
pretend that there is no value in being financial able to do a lot of whatever
you want in life.
Do not assume that the women who demand a lot financially of
their partner are not able to provide for themselves. In this day and age, more
women (and men) are becoming smart about how they dig their gold, how they save
it and how they invest it. And to say that someone is only deserving of
something if they can provide it for themselves is BS. If I put in a valuable
contribution to a partnership but I am not able to buy myself the world, are
you telling me that neither I nor my partner can say or feel that I deserve the
world (or a really expensive equivalent)?
I’d also like to point out that a practice of rich people
who are deemed smart is that they never spend their own money, they spend that
of others. I have met gold diggers who are very upfront about it who also have
their own money whether they work to earn it or they are given it by someone.
At the end of the day, the money is theirs and if the source of the money
should somehow disappear, they still have enough to get by on a rainy day,
month or even year. Many women get left and end up so mad because of how much
they gave and how little they received. The ones who ensured they got something
tangible out of it have some comfort in knowing that. Maybe there’s something
of value that you can take away from a gold digger, Miss Independent.
