Wednesday, 27 June 2012

It's Been A While. Missed me?

It’s been a while, I know. My sincerest apologies. I’ll blame exam stress, jet lag and the heat. Yep, those three cover the gap since my last blog. I honestly have no idea where to start. I tried going through my pictures to determine what experiences to write on. Looking through them told me so much- it does not get easier each time I leave home; I had waaay more fun in Barbados this time around; I have a lot of material to blackmail future lawyers and I take far too many pictures of myself. Ha! Like that last one is even possible. I have topics I want to tackle based on my time in BIM and I will slowly but surely get to them. One thing that I took away from last semester was that opening my mind (and, reluctantly, my heart) to Barbados has influenced how I view my own homeland and it has inspired me in ways that I did not expect.

If I was at home, I, no doubt, would not have had many of the cultural experiences that I did but that’s expected. What I did not anticipate was the motivation that being away would trigger in me. I found myself more and more thinking of all the things I could be doing if I was home where it would be easier. I had ideas (I’m an idea girl) but I hardly put most of them into motion. I had unknowingly become complacent because I was in my comfort zone at home. Knowing that I had to be in Barbados lit a fire underneath me and the newfound sense of urgency pushed me to take the steps needed to turn my ideas into reality. Many of them are still works in progress but that is due in large part to the fact that I was away. However, because I was away, I am further along in terms of actual progress than I would have been had I just been home this past year. For that, I am truly grateful.

I do believe that things happen for a reason and that some reasons are clear instantly while some are revealed later on. I figure each time the latter happens, it’s a test of my patience. Clearly, I need many pop quizzes on patience. J Bear with me as I get back into the groove of writing. I’ll try and spice it up with pictures but I will have a hard time choosing from the hundreds (maybe thousands). I should really delete some or get an external hard drive. Aaaaand I am going to wrap this up now.

Along with my new attitude came my new hairstyle. I shaved the sides of my head off. I went to a barber and had it done. I was going to Barbados with more spunk than I left. I felt like a bad-ass, to be honest. I was given earrings with spikes on the ends for my birthday when I went home on break. They added to why I felt like a rock star. That rock star feeling stayed with me until my hair grew out (getting your hair done in Barbados is expensive- like everything else there) and actually had only faded the day I actually had to leave home. Even looking at the pictures I took still give me that empty yet gnawing feeling in my gut that I was a girl going to a foreign place and leaving behind so much of myself with my loved ones. Le sigh. Most of my classmates were so excited to leave their home and some who were in the Mona (Jamaica) program wanted to go to Barbados. People be crazy! I kid….kind of. Anyway, take a look at some pictures ‘til I holla at wunna next.

You'll see more of the style in later posts. Loved it so much I  did it again when I returned to JA

The top earring is facing the wrong way but you get the idea
This should give you a better idea

The second I can see this view, my heart is crumbling.

It feels like the loneliest walk I'll ever take traveling  down this passage

No turning back now

I miss you already, JA

See you soon but not soon enough


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