Wednesday, 14 December 2011

The Science of “Doing Road”

Disclaimer: This convo will be hard to understand if one is not familiar with Jamaican patois and especially Mavado's song "Do Road" . The post picks up in the middle of a group chat on BBM.

N: Dem nuh know u nuh dealid nutn str8, dawdie?

J: Dem clearly nuh know... Pawdie

T: Uwi a fish. BURNS my SOUL for dem

J: Suh inna real life mi fi call ppl "pawdie/dawdie" & doh feel ridiculous?

T: Yes, u!

T: And hotskull

N: I call______ such. He usually threatens to never carry me on the "endz" as a result but he seems unable to grasp that whether on his endz or not, it's is pertinent that I "do road"

J: =)) =D

T: Lmao!

J: As stated in the portable pawdie booklet

T: Do road!

T: Please ensure that the young man understand the terms and conditions lest he gets "dash ovabode"

J: When 1 "does road" is the cutting like a "samari swoad" a simultaneous activity or a reaction of having done road?

N: The booklet is also available for download to BB or iPhone versions 4s or higher. There is also an app where one can proceed to "cut like a samurye sode"

T: The "samurai swoad" action is dependent on the context of the doing of said road

N: In section 4 (a) (ii), it clearly states that for one to be cutting like a samurai sword in the same time n space as one is doing road, one must have previously or have strict intentions to dash a bwoy overboard

T: I concur. Also the dashing of a bwoy overboard must also tie in with the "come back wid mi ting load" element

T: Once one has "loaded" said thing then and only then may they proceed to the dashing

T: A tad complex really

N: Truly. But one must learn the proper methods lest one does road inappropriately and makes a fool of one's self and end up banished to a life of cake soap and colouring books. *shudders*

J: No seriously, maw bawl.

T: But why? We are trying to "set di code" so we can clearly understand the concept of doing the road

T: Hear, hear Miss N. Only a "tuggie lawd" can readily know the difference

N: Let it be noted that it is essential that one's dogs lack food as well. Doing road with dogs who have food is quite tacky. Takes away from the intention and purpose of the "Do Road" Act 2011

T: That's an excellent point of information! Also, someone need to get your head confused as well

T: It is imperative that all factors of doing road are present of said action will fail

N: Ahhh, yes. Doing road may sound simple to the layman but a real mcCoy knows the intricacies.

N: A toast to the gully god himself, Mavado, for enlightening us

T: *applause*


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