In the faculty lunch room last week, I met a fascinating Bajan woman and we discussed a few topics that I found interesting which I’ll share with you.
- The first topic is Relationships and Security
On this topic, she made it a point to tell a colleague that we can’t have the full Bajan experience unless we get a Bajan man while we’re here. Mark you, her partner is not Bajan.
“Bajan men are great partners- they’ll give you their money easily and if u cheat, they’ll just drink.” This last part was significant because other men from different cultures would react much differently apparently. Which brings me to her next point:
“Never date a Vincentian, a married man or a police. A Vinci (Vincentian) man will chop u up; they can’t take a hurt.” These three categories of men to be wary of were given to her by her mother, she said, and “If it comes out o my modda mout’, it mus be true”
As it relates to the other two categories
“Police men are always broke. From the day they join the force to their last day. They spend the money on flashy cars and all these expensive things so nothing’s left for you”
A male friend of hers who was present also made a point to say that Guyanese police are also on the poorer end of the spectrum but that this is due to how low they get paid. He said they protect you in the day and commit crimes against you in the night. “That’s why our police are so well taken care of- our government knows better” This male friend is also Bajan.
“If you dealing with a married man, know your place. Don’t call that man after 5- the man is eating with his family. Never disrespect the main woman. He’s been stringing you along for 2-3 years for a reason! He’s not gonna leave his wife for you. After 4 years, he’s gonna drop u ‘cause he doesn’t want u to bring he (him) to court and sue, 5 years are coming up.”
For those who don’t realize the significance of 5 years in a relationship, it means you are now common law relationship in the eyes of the law. But this only applies if you have been living together the entire 5 years.
- Then we tackled the issue of security in relationships
My friend was present and she has been with her partner for over 6.5 years. I was teasing (with 50% seriousness) her to get married and get her benefits.
“You don’t need to get married. Just make sure your name is on the bank account. Two years in, my name has to be on that bank account. Every night I’m there doing my womanly duties and nothing? *laughs*”
