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Sunday 21 October 2012

Yohan Blake's Secret


We all know Yohan Blake as one of the fastest men in the world- the second fastest, to be exact, and he is tied with Tyson Gay for that title. If you did not know, you’re not Jamaican and I understand and I forgive you for that. Luckily, now you know this and you may go on your merry way researching fun facts about this incredibly talented and hard-working young man. If you do not wish to stray from this article (which, let’s be honest, none of you do) you are in luck because here you will find one very fun and previously unknown fact about this incredible specimen of a man. I like to lay it on thick….like his thighs. Wait, what? *clears throat* I digress.

Yohan is known by many as “The Beast” a nickname that was apparently given to him by the fastest man in the world and his training partner- Usain Bolt. This nickname is said to be representative of the fact that he trains “like a beast” and is extremely dedicated to his craft. According to Blake, he trains “twice as hard as anybody else” in his pursuit of becoming the fastest man in the world. He became the youngest 100m champion at the World Championships in 2011. Some view Blake as somewhat of an overnight sensation saying that he sprung up out of nowhere or he improved too quickly too soon. Those people have clearly not been paying attention as all sports are prone to those who are “seasonal” fans, having people who are of this opinion is not new and, therefore, not unexpected. Still, there is something that those who have been paying attention may have missed.

Yohan has said that he eats 16 ripe bananas a day as part of his diet when training and my word, that sounds like a lot, but I guess when you’re training like a beast, you have to eat like one. No offense is meant to any monkeys or creatures of the monkey family who may be reading this- “beast” is used in a loving way. After all, we ARE related, according to Darwin, so let’s just consider this a joke amongst family members. Sheesh, so sensitive, uncle monkey J

Getting back on track (see what I did there?), I am writing this to finally spill the secret to Yohan’s success- apart from his natural talent, his drive and his love of potassium. Yohan Blake is…..wait for it……are you waiting? I hope you are…..drumroll, please…..*waits for drumroll*……a Super Saiyan. Many have found his signature pose to be confusing, disturbing or downright dumb (not me, Yohan) but what they fail to realize is that it is in fact homage to his race of fellow Super Saiyans? Rather than have his hair and eyes change colour and freak small children and normal human beings out every time we watch him race, Yohan has done a trade-off with the Super Saiyan gods and has instead harnessed his transformation powers into his fingernails. Bear this in mind the next time you criticize the young man’s pose. Is this an unfair advantage? Of course not! He can’t help that he comes from a powerful race of people and you thinking it’s unfair is racist. Fix that. Hmmph.

For those of you who are not yet convinced and need proof, just see the pics below.

P.S. Save the monkeys J    


Yohan Blake



Yohan Blake


Gogeta Super Saiyan 4


Yohan Blake


Broly Super Saiyan 4

I rest my case.

Disclaimer: All pictures were taken from the internet (Google images, to be precise and I have no clue about Super Saiyans and their levels but I'd put Yohan at about a level 3. He doesn't show enough chest cleavage for level 4).




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